Saturday, February 07, 2009
It feel so good, and I can't keep my hands off the computer~ My fucking computer crashed and I can't even use the internet except from my phone. I am so pathetic to use my work's computer. I feel the urge to play pool but I know I don't have the guts to ask. My fever has been going on for so many days. I want it to go away seriously, I have so much problems in life and this is making me feel worse. I keep yearning and yearning, something that I know I can never get it. I yearn for somebody to compete pool with me. Somebody to say "ah chew!" when I am aiming which hole to shoot into. I yearn for someone to spend the night with me, to care for me when I'm sick. I yearn for somebody to say "Don't work anymore, I'll support you the rest of my life." I yearn for someone to bring me to the doctors when I am sick and cook porridge for me and even feeding me. Damn all the drama series with happy endings. Fuck Valentine's Day, Fuck Adam and Eve for being attracted to each other. Fuck love. It hurts, it still do. But then again, which asshole is going to give a damn to how you feel and care. Everybody is happily leading their own lifes, I rather I never had it all. Then again is this really the road to independence? Its just so tough, all alone I have been alone actually, but I had somebody to take care of me. Never once, I had been so lonely.ACCEPTANCE 4:00 AM
